What's it all about, Alfie?
Wow, a new blog, didn’t see that coming, and why a new one, doesn’t everyone already have their own blog? Well, not me. At least not until now, so welcome to what for a nanosecond will be the newest blog on the internet. Now that I’ve joined the parade, we come to the first of four questions that my people like to ask, which is “Why is this blog different from all other blogs?” So many blogs, so little time, so why this one?
Well, to be honest, I haven’t the faintest idea, but you’ve already gotten this far, so what’s another few hundred words among friends? And friends we are, because if you found your way here, you’re obviously a Facebook or Twitter friend. So to the six of you I say, welcome.
There is, however, one difference between this and the other billion blogs out there; this is the first one written by me. Kinda. While I’ve never written a blog before, I’ve been writing for old and new media for almost 30 years. Stop doing the math. We get it, I’ve been around for a while, and while I’d love to say that I was a very precocious young boy when I started writing, I’d be lying. Which by the way, you’ll find out as we spend more time together, is not something I’m completely opposed to doing, I just prefer calling it colorful embellishment.
As for what I’ve written, it has pretty much covered the gamut from A to Z. Okay, that was an example of out-and-out lie, as my gamut is more in the E to T range. I started out writing and performing stand-up, mostly about politics, dating and life in general, until I was able to sleep my way into a political writing gig on HBO, which naturally led to the Disney channel, which preceded a spectacular descent into a televised puppet show for pre-schoolers. From there it was a cornucopia of questionable choices, including a syndicated sitcom set in a clothing store that sold food, or was a diner that sold clothing, I get those two confused; fantasy sports writing for Mr. Murdoch and baseball writing for Mr. Selig, which is still a fantasy come true for me; graphic novels; a website dedicated to Vice Presidents; feature films; obituaries; family romance stories; and my newest ventures, urban movies and historical civil rights bio-pics, which, if it’s done nothing else, has proven that it’s possible to feel whiter than the Pillsbury Doughboy. I’ve written alone and with a myriad of partners that include a funny girl, young enough to be my daughter, who surprises me by merely agreeing to have anything to do with me; an old white guy who reminds me that we have a better shot at getting a tee time than getting an exec to take the time to read; an even older white guy, who is old enough to be my father and also happens to be a legend in the comic book business; a gay body-builder who besides being one hell of a writer is one of my closest friends; a conservative radio talk show host; a Democratic party worker; and other assorted vagrants and near-do-wells. There is an old saying, those who can, do, those who can’t, teach. I’ve added a third part; those who can’t do or teach, find others with talent to leech off of until they get wise and make you move on. In this case, to a blog.
So why start writing a blog which is certain to take away valuable time from cruising the internet and playing Sudoku, just to entertain six friends? And I’m using the word entertain in a very broad sense. First there’s the matter of peer pressure, everyone else has one, and according to some, I might actually be legally obligated to write one. Then there is the concept of colorful embellishment that I mentioned earlier. On those rare occasions when I’m introduced to someone who may be tangentially connected to the entertainment business, when they asked what I do, I've found the answer, “I’m a writer”, is usually followed by a dubious “Really? What do you write?” retort. Since, as illustrated by the previous paragraph, a fully informative answer would take up more time than my new acquaintance has probably allotted for our entire burgeoning relationship, I response with a cryptic “a little bit of everything,” which produces the same look police give a suspect who answers their questions with, “Home alone, asleep. Why?” It’s at that point where I’m asked for a website address where they can read “a little bit of that everything.” Hence, the short answer as to why I'm writing a blog is simple: An alibi.
So what will this new blog include? You guessed it, a little bit of everything. A skewed look through the eyes of a self-professed curmudgeon, at the world around us which hopefully will produce a smile or an eye-roll from the reader. A look at events that are presented by the media as being mainstream but should really be looked at with a raised eyebrow. Sports, politics, daily life, crime, family relationships, dating, pretty much anything that comes up in the course of life, which while the majority of the people seem to accept with a simple “Oh, okay”, should really be responded to with a “Really? You’re kidding me, right?”
And how often should you expect a new observational gem? My plan is to dedicate enough time to coming up with things I want to write about that it will allow me to post on a somewhat regular manner. Then again, I’ve already said that not everything I say can be trusted, so…
Finally, since marketing is everything, if you like what you read, please share this blog with your friends. And should you not enjoy the journey, please share this blog with people you don’t like.